Name: Kittens :3

This is for hard mode.

Monastary Boss: Athroverta "The Creepy Face Crab"

Easy boss, smack him in the face with dual Confodore rotations, backdash his really slow claw attack and his web attack, if need be you can block the webs with a wave of Ascias. Magnes onto the magnets when he curls up into a ball.

Prison Island Boss: Giant Skeleton "The Pussy Skeleton"

Ridiculously easy, this boss isn't even on boss rush. Jump continually and bash him in the face with Macir, backup until you start to get too close to the wall, and Magnes jump over him. He'll flip around and start moving faster towards you, don't attack when you're behind him just magnes jump back to in front of him once he's backed off and continue smacking him in the face until he dies. If you can't get a medal on this boss you suck.

Lighthouse boss: Brachurya "The Elevator Crab"

Tedious but easy boss. When he clicks his big claw, duck down on the bottom left platform, and it totally misses. when he shoots bubbles, walk to the other side of the shaft. Either hurl Ascia at him for a slow but safe kill or be impatient and crouch and bash him with Macir on the aforementioned lower left platform. When he does the turning red animation the lower left platform is not safe, watch out. For getting him to smash the ceiling, stand to the far left on the upper platform until he finishes his second smash, then run to the center to bait his third smash out there. Get him to smash the left two more times and it breaks.

the second and third stages aren't much different, to dodge bubbles just magnes onto the magnet and push yourself to the right, don't let go of magnes until the bubbles are gone. Smack him in the face with the elevator and get an easy medal.

Skeleton Den Boss: Maneater "The Giant Skull"
He'll spit little red skulls that will bounce around, don't let too many of these acumulate, destroying them is priority 1, even if you need to switch to a more accurate weapon to do so. Use Luminatio as close to him as is safe and spam it, try not to let any of the wierd tentacles aim at you at any time, and don't ever be directly below him for prolonged periods. If the tentacles stop moving, he's about to either smash the ground or shoot waves out of the tentacles. Overall not too hard, just don't let the red skulls accumulate and you're good.

Reef Boss: Rusalka "The Water Lady"

Finally the bosses start to get fairly tricky. Dual Confodores is the weapon of choice, hands down. stand right next to her and you'll be inside the range of her hair lash, and free to rotate the confodores on her face. Dodging Maelstrom and the giant pillars from the ceiling is somewhat self-explanatory, so I'm not bothering with that. With you standing so close to her she won't even bother hair lashing you but she will try to back up to get in range, stay in her face. Also she'll occasionally reach backwards and splash water at you, backdash this and it misses, and then get right back in her face.

Giant's Dwelling Boss: Goliath "The Giant Zombie"

Easy slut, dual Confodores here again. stand right next to him and rotate confodores on him, if he starts winding up, get out of there, if he prepares to jump, don't move and let him jump over you, and then resume rotating on him once the shock wave dissipates. when he bashes the ceiling, you can either move around and dodge the wood or you can easily just turn on Scutum and it will absorb all of it with no effort. Don't get too far away from Goliath, it's not good if you don't know what he's doing. He'll sometimes crouch down, and cradle his head in his hands, if he does so back off and throw Ascias at him, if you get close he grabs you.

Oblivion Ridge Boss: Gravedorcus "The Sand Fish"

Dual Vol Grando is the weapon of choice here, and positioning is key. Don't ever stand on the stone pillars, it's always a bad idea. Take free shots where you can get them, it's easy to snipe with Grando. When he surfaces and spits those wierd little balls at you, rotate Grando on him, but space out your usage so that none of them can slip through the Grando spikes. If you were able to get close enough so that the Grando hits him as well as blocking his attack, great, if not, don't worry. When he prepares to smash a stone pillar away from you, open up on him until you're out of mana and then do a Grando crush, if he's aiming towards you, take a few free shots then run, the stone fragments fly a long ways. Once all three pillars are smashed, the next time he surfaces he'll surface at one side and then dive at you. When this is about to happen, run away from him until you bare see the wall of the stage appear, and then stop and crouch. When he dives, slide away so he doesn't crush you, and then open up on him while he's dazed from butting his head into the wall. After this, the pillars will reappear, and it will start again. Be patient, and he's quite easy.

Mysterious Manor Boss: Albus "The Crazy Dude with a Gun"

Okay Albus is a slut in hard mode, with three new shots mimicing the Grando Ignis and Fulgur glyphs, which make it very hard to find an opening on him. Also when he channels Acerbatus, and you run behind him, he is suddenly smart enough to turn around and smack you in the face with it. The easiest openings you get on him are twofold. When he laughs maniacially, and when he does a vertical flame kick. Basically you'll want to run towards him and jump over his shots a lot, stand on top of him to get him to do a vertical flame kick and backdash at the last second, jump above him to get him to do vertical flame kicks, bait them as hard as you can. When you do get him to do the kick, stand next to where he's about to land and open up on him with dual Confodores, you should get a few seconds of free damage when you successfully bait a kick. Play it way more defencively than normal mode permits and he'll go down.

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Snorlax is what you might call a motherfucker


"Kittens, your asshole will soon feel the fury of five thousand dicks, and yet! It shall be the work of but a single dick. Mine." ~ Kain